The tasmanian narcissist has moved on to another woman. He was with her even before I filed for divorce. He proposed to her within days of the divorce being final. He is a typical narcissist. Can't be alone, can't take care of self, can't truly set down roots. I do not seek out information on him, I do not look at his facebook page, I do not have any contact with him. However, at times information gets passed to me quicker than I can say "NO! Don't tell me". Anyway, he's already re-married. This does give me some relief, but I still feel the pain of this quick re-marriage. I know whole heartedly that he doesn't love her anymore than he loved me - which means he has no love for her, either. He needed a place to live and the easiest way to get that is to get married to the woman, any woman, who had her own place. The tasmanian narcissist not only made a mess of my life and my kids' lives, but he made a complete mess of his own life. He went from a middle-class suburb of tree lined streets and friendly neighbors to living in his car because he wanted people to feel sorry for him. He went from having two very good and God fearing kids to having no relationship at all with his kids. They have him blocked from all access to them. He went from a marriage where he was expected to do nothing other than be my companion to living a life of couch jumping chaos. In the midst of our marriage I was the breadwinner, he didn't even have to work. I financed all of his sports and hobbies. I financed his 4 vacations per year without his family. Even when he did work, he spent his paychecks on himself and his activities. He didn't cook, didn't clean, didn't do chores around the house, he didn't do anything other than serve himself at the expense of everyone else. We had no expectations on him at all other than to be a companion to me, a father to his kids and be accountable to God. He couldn't do that. He would rather throw it all away, become homeless with no job and no dignity just so he could have the sympathy of others. He wanted to be able to be on facebook all day - working his virtual farm at farmville - and didn't want to be bothered by me when I asked him to not humiliate me on facebook everyday by smearing me publicly and to actually pick up a broom once in awhile. That was too much to ask. So, in order to have all of his facebook flings - and there were many - and to ensure a fresh supply of sympathy he made himself homeless. THAT is a textbook sociopath.
Yes, he did that. Went and made himself homeless to hook the sympathy of anyone naive. I know it sounds untrue, but trust me it is true.
He has now hooked a new victim for a place to live. How romantic!?!? Although I shouldn't gloat over others' misfortune, I do look forward to this new wife finally seeing the sociopathy. It will happen. It's inevitable.
He truly is damaging to EVERYONE around him - including himself and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him or help him.
I look back on it now and know that I enabled his narcissistic behavior by expecting nothing of him. I allowed him to bull-doze me and be disrespectful of me every single day of our relationship. It is me that is working on me so this never occurs again. I am learning to set healthy boundaries and to say NO to anything I'm not comfortable with or something I don't want to do. I can say pretty confidently that the narcissist is not ever going to find someone as naive as I was, who will allow the abuse to go on and on unchecked because my self-esteem and self-worth was non-existant. My therapist told me that my marriage should have ended years ago. It only lasted as long as it did (24 years) because I kept it going. I allowed him to walk all over me. I surely hope that anyone else that comes into his life is not that easily manipulated and abused. The good news is I'm learning. I'm working on me.
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