Introducing Me

I begin this blog somewhat reluctantly.  I have been divorced about six months now from a tasmanian narcissist and I am barely getting to a place where I can make it through a day without a fit of crying.  I have described my ex Narcissist husband on a few ocassions as the Tasmanian Devil.  He whirled into my life, created havoc, destroyed everyone and everything within a 10 mile range and whirled out leaving behind complete destruction and chaos.  He is the Tasmanian Narcissist.  For anyone reading this that has no experience with a narcissist, - I can't even find enough words to tell you the damage done by these individuals.  At the very least it is soul rape, and it's every other destructive word in the English language - short of death.  They use and discard you like an old pair of shoes.  When a narcissist determines he or she is done with you - they put you down at the curb like trash on garbage day and walk away without a single thought.  They think about, obsess about and care about YOU in the same way we think, obsess and care about the trash we put out for collection.  In other words we DON'T and neither does a narcissist. 

It's hard to imagine that this kind of evil walks the Earth, but it does.  Malignant narcissism is an all pervasive evil and there is no cure for it.  There is no cure because narcissists do not think anything is wrong with them.  Therefore, there is nothing to cure or fix.  No matter what the problem - it will always be YOU with the problem and never them.   My ex N husband used to say "we'd get along fine if it weren't for you."  Of course, it was always me.  He blamed me for everything.  He once blamed me for a car accident that he was in and I wasn't even in the car.  I was at work!  He blamed my kids when they were small for his lack of concern for them.  He blamed a five year old boy (my son) for the fact that he didn't have a real relationship with him.  Yes, he did that!   Anyway, you get the picture.  They are flaw-less, they are perfect, they are without sin.  If you have a problem with a narcissist, they will be sure to tell you that it is YOU.

Now, we're told that we can't diagnose someone without a Ph.D in psychiatry or something similar.  But, for those that have lived with an abusive spouse/parent/sibling/child/etc. you don't need a degree to know when someone has abused us, you don't need a degree when someone destroys your soul because you feel it.   I'm not so concerned with the diagnosis, anyway.    I know what I've lived with and it's NPD [narcissistic personality disorder] even if I'm not qualified to diagnose.  My ex N husband is a raging N and he destroyed me and my now adult children.  He has already moved on to another family - already re-married and playing the doting step-father.  He did this within weeks of trashing his own family.   He has used facebook in the evilest of ways and posted daily rants about me and his own kids.  He called us every name in the book and smeared us to high heaven.  I would imagine his new wife witnessed all of this and married him anyway.  I don't feel sorry for her.  If she married a man after knowing him a short time, witnessed his smear campaign and married him without ever meeting his kids....well then she won't get much sympathy from me when it goes bad....AND it will go bad.

So I begin this blog and hope others will read and post their experiences. 

There is recovery after a Tasmanian Narcissist but I have not yet found it.

I only wish he was made with ink and color like the cartoon version.  I'd get out my big eraser and he'd be gone from our lives. 

Until then - signed,

the ex wife of the Tasmanian Narcissist